


Release

by Butterfly



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-05
Updated: 2005-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterfly/pseuds/Butterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forgetting Obi-Wan Kenobi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Release

**Author's Note:**

> Set between _Revenge of the Sith_ and _A New Hope_.

_There is no emotion, there is peace._

Perhaps one day, he will open his eyes and truly feel like Ben Kenobi, simple hermit of the Jundland Wastes.

Not this day, though. This day, he feels the weight of being Obi-Wan Kenobi more keenly than he has in weeks.

This day, he received news of a horrible punishment, dealt out by the Emperor's right hand, the man now known to the galaxy at large as Darth Vader, and only that.

The details of the attack are scattered, and the survivors were scarce. Still, a few words remain true in the various reports -- a monster in black, cold and merciless, a faceless butcher who killed in the name of the Emperor, who held a forbidden weapon of the disgraced Jedi religion.

Obi-Wan had tried to ignore the Force when it told him that Anakin had survived the flames, but this bit of news confirmed all the darkest fears of his heart.

Anakin had lived, and he had become a monster.

It was hard to believe that this could end in anything good.

 _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge._

Qui-Gon has told him, time and again, that the Force knows what it's doing, and Qui-Gon always knew the Living Force better than Obi-Wan did.

Despite his misgivings, he must trust in the Force.

So, he watches over young Luke as closely as Owen Lars will allow him, nowhere near as closely as he would like.

And he waits.

Here, in the one place Anakin would never wish to return and would never imagine to find anything of value.

Perhaps, one day, Darth Vader and not Anakin Skywalker will be the name that comes to his thoughts.

Every day, Obi-Wan gathers his strength and lets go of his guilt over Anakin. He releases his fear over what will happen now that the Republic has fallen and there is no longer even the fading power of the Jedi to protect the vulnerable. He pushes away his anger over that final day.

He lets go of his love for Anakin -- for the child who'd cried out in the night for his mother, for the youth who'd been filled with more passion than Obi-Wan had ever known, and for the man who had been his closest partner and his greatest friend.

Every day, he lets these things go, and every morning, they wait for him.

Sunlight spilling over the desert sands speaks of Anakin's smile, blinding and beautiful. The harsh wind whispers a thousand times of Anakin's hatred, his burning eyes. The arid air brings to mind the hours that Anakin could while away by a waterside, content for the simple fact that he was as far from a desert as possible. Something as innocent as a bird cry in the distance can remind Obi-Wan of a memory.

When the memories do come, he finds them as precious as diamonds, and as useless. Each memory is a reminder of the fact that Anakin is the one thing that he has never been able to truly let go. All the smiles and the slights that Anakin gave him are as clear in his mind as the days that they happened. Each mission they spent together shines in his memory, sparkling like broken glass, cutting his heart to ribbons.

 _There is no passion, there is serenity._

Qui-Gon urges him to trust in the Force, trust in the prophecy. Anakin is still the Chosen One, Qui-Gon reminds him.

So, each day, Obi-Wan gathers his thoughts.

Releases his fear, releases his anger, releases his guilt.

Releases his love.

He lets go of the trembling thread of hope that the prophecy grants him. He lets go of his desired outcome, lets go of himself, and wills the Force to be his Master.

Obi-Wan Kenobi failed, let affection and love blind him.

 _There is no death; there is the Force._

Ben Kenobi will not be afforded that luxury.


End file.
